2004 called and it wants Jenny from the Block back.

Jennifer Lopez is trying to shed that hated J.Lo moniker once and for all and is trying to rebrand herself as “Lola,” as in “whatever Lola wants.” “Lola” has a new single out along with a laughable faux-mysterious website, WhoIsLola.com (warning: bad music on that link) that seems like it’s at least four years out of date, much like J.Lo herself. Lola wants a career comeback, but a new name isn’t going to cut it.

The video for Jennifer’s new tune, “Fresh Out Of the Oven” is as cringe-worthy as the title suggests, EXCEPT for the hit-pause-rewind-drool-repeat Christian Louboutin lace booties she sports.

Available at Barneys, the “Bridget” ($1,795) is both glam and rock with its lace and leopard detail. Lace platform peep toe bootie with leopard pony heel cap, side zip and double adjustable ankle straps. 130mm pony hair heel.

Her tune probably won’t crack the Top 40, but her footwear is definitely a hit!

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Ladies, start working on your “oh, I think that tuna sandwich I had for lunch was bad” face.

The man, the myth, the red-soled legend, Monsieur Christian Louboutin will be making a personal appearance at Bergdorf Goodman in New York tomorrow (Thursday, October 22nd) to sign his iconic red soles, as he has done before to the delight of shoe fetishists everywhere.

The French master of the scarlet sole has claimed the souls of many well-shod women, who no doubt will be lining up tomorrow for the signing, which takes place in the second floor shoe salon from 2-6pm. All shoes signed during the event must be purchased that day from Bergdorf’s, so no sneaking in the $200 boat shoe-looking heels discounted at the Barneys Warehouse Sale. Best to play it classy this time.

RSVP for the event by emailing event@bergdorfgoodman.com or calling 212.872.2646.

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You know that singularly exhilarating feeling you get when you’ve scored an impossibly almost-too-good-to-be-true-but-it-is-deal that makes you want to fist-thump complete strangers in celebration of your shopping prowess but are afraid: 1) they’ll think you’re a complete psycho and 2) snatch the last shoe in your size before you come to your senses?

Well, as you long-time readers know, I’m something of an Outnet.com fanatic. Oh, OK, I’m obsessed. Fine, I said it. The first step in recognizing that you may have a problem is admitting it, right?

I stalked their Louboutin bonanza but managed to keep my wallet in my purse and safely out of reach. I drooled over their Azzedine Alaia haul but just kept repeating “homeless people don’t wear designer shoes” and bought an inexpensive pair of heels at DSW instead to satisfy my shoe craving.

Well, I finally gave in to temptation when I saw these TDF! Moschino Cheap and Chic (chic, yes; cheap? not so much) patent round toe wedges, which are marked down to $133.50 from $445 (no, that’s not a typo). Shut the front door! And how FREAKING cute is the heart-shaped stone embellishment on the toe?

(Yes, now that the confirmation number is safely in my grabby little hands, I’m gleefully sharing the news. Don’t worry, sizes 7, 8, 10 and 11 are still available.)

These great-looking wedges give you four extra inches without all of the teetering and tormenting of stilettos. And even better news? You can wear ‘em with bare legs and all fall with great textured tights.

Huh, maybe there is something to that whole “delayed gratification” thing …

Naw, I refuse to accept that there’s something my mother could be right about!

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I get wistful whenever I see them. My arms ache to pick them up and take them home.

I see other women with them and think, “Why can’t that be me?”

Oh, why don’t I live somewhere on the wintery East Coast where trudging through slushy streets and knee-high snow drifts would justify the purchase of a pair of trendy tall boots?

Sheesh, what did you think I was talking about?

We get like a snowflake or two each season here in these parts so a kicky pair of ankle boots are enough to keep my tootsies in warmth and comfort until the cherry blossoms bloom, but I just can’t stop looking at the suede “Relax” boots by Bettye Muller, available at SimplySoles ($595).

I usually like to keep my shoe lust in the “actually attainable” range, but buying these uber-versatile boots is like getting three boots in one. Kassie Rempel, SimplySoles guru/owner says: Scrunch ‘em down over tights or jeans, fold the cuff for a traditional knee-high look or unfold the cuff for the season’s over-the-knee trend. I’d be down with all three.

(Yes, I’m just trying to convince myself.)

What do you think, dolls: Do I have a convincing argument or should I save my pennies?

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Someone pinch me (*ouch*)…

Yep, this just might be the best week EVER!

Just go to www.billiondollarbabes.com (click here for invite link:) all this week for your chance to score a pair of Madame Claude d’Orsay Louboutin pumps (value $795).

But if you’re not feeling Lady Luck is on your side, mark your calendars and check your credit card balance: Monsieur Louboutin himself will be making an appearance at Neiman Marcus (Shoe Salon, Level Two), Tysons Corner, on Saturday, October 14 from 1-4pm for an exclusive meet n’ greet and Q&A moderated by Roopal Patel, Accessories Fashion Editor for Neiman Marcus and Bergdorf Goodman.

The free event features a preview of Louboutin’s fall collection and a “OMG, do you know who you are?!” opportunity to have him sign a pair of your red-soled beauties. If you’ve been saving your pennies for the perfect pair of have-’em-for-life stilettos, this is the time to take the plunge, dolls.

So if you’re planning to brave the high heeled crunch, arrive early and bring a gossip magazine and a granola bar. Trust me, you’ll appreciate the snacks. Shoe candy may feed your accessory lust but it’s not really very filling.

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Fall in D.C. is a lot like that line from Forrest Gump–”you never know what you’re going to get.” As a quick trip to weather.com will tell you, it’s a sunny day here inside the Beltway with the thermometer flirting with the 70-degree mark.

In October.

It’s a tad too chilly for bare-legs and strappy sandals but yet too warm for tall boots. Sure, you could pull on a pair of jeans and slip on a pair of ballet flats and call it a day but that’s just throwing in the fashion towel.

Oh, what to do …

No need for an all out Rachel Zoe “this is a crisis” freak out. The perfect what-to-wear solution for autumn’s in-between days: textured tights.

Chanel, Anna Sui, and Miss Sixty all played up the gorgeous gams this season. For those of us living off the runway (um, i.e. everyone) putting your own legs center stage is as easy as choosing the right pair.

Here are a few tips to help point you in the right direction.

1) Inject a dose of high-fashion style to a basic all-black look with a patterned pair reminiscent of Pucci’s iconic prints.

2) Give a cocktail dress an extra dose of shine with glittery tights.

3) Banish drugstore pantyhose from the office by indulging in a modern (and more tasteful) take on the classic fishnet. At around $12 a pop, feel free to try a new one each day until you discover your inner Tina Turner.

Check out some of the bold styles to rev up your leg look …

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With its good girl cotton-candy pink meets sassy bad girl detailing, there’s definitely nothing plain Jane about these Pour la Victoire ‘Rene’ Mary Janes. The 4 1/2 inch heel and spikey detail say “lookin’ for trouble”, yet the baby pink hue say there’s still something sweet about you.

And here’s something else that will tickle you pink, they’re on sale now at Nordstrom for $184.90 from $310. That’s 40% off!

Color me obsessed.

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Oh dear lord.

Not one to let her daughter’s recent fashion fiasco get in her way of hogging the spotlight, Dina Lohan is launching her own line of shoes called — wait for it — “Shoe-han.”

Yeah, Shoe-han. I kid you not.

Dina is aiming to launch the new line for Long Island-based retailer Love My Shoes in time for Mother’s Day 2010. Just what moms everywhere have always wanted: shoes designed by a woman who has probably never even seen a sewing machine before and made by 100% sweatshop labor.

Wee! I get all misty-eyed just thinking about the look of joy on my mom’s face when she opens the gift box …

The line will include 25-35 stylish flats, sexy pumps and funky footwear. All the shoes will cost less than $100.

“These shoes are affordable, which is really important in this economy,” Lohan said. “It’s tough for everybody - even us.”

So why Dina Lohan?

“She’s definitely got a good eye and she’s got it together,” says Love My Shoes founder and president Robert Yeganeh. “She may not be followed as a fashionista but if the shoes are designed right and priced under $100…they will sell.”

Who knows, maybe the shoes will end up on the runway at Ungaro, if Lindsay hasn’t been fired from her artistic advisor gig by next fall.

That’s what, at least 10, 15 pairs right there.

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Your shopping calendar is facing a huge shake-up.

Just as you’re trying to choose between booties, tall boots or thigh highs, Stuart Weitzman is previewing its spring 2010 shoe and handbag collection at trunk shows from coast to coast.

Well, what better way to get through the slushy season than with a pair of strappy sandals at-the- ready for the first rays of warmth and a toe-baring pedicure?

And while we don’t really need an excuse to buy another pair of shoes, the fact that customers will have the chance to pre-order styles from the collection in a range of unique colors and materials is surely enough to twist any fashionista’s arm.

Or should that be foot?

**Availability to order select styles in sizes 6-12 AAAA, 5-12 AA, 4-12 B and 5-11 C**

Atlanta-Lennox Square
Lennox Square
November 2-3 (10am-8pm)
(404)846-0101

Atlanta-Perimeter Mall
Perimeter Mall
October 20-21 (10am-9pm)
(770)393-9100

Aventura
Aventura Mall
October 14-16 (10am-9pm)
(305)932-0080

Austin
The Domain
October 24-25 (Saturday 10am-9pm, Sunday 12pm-6pm)
(512)834-2800

Beverly Hills
437 N. Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills
November 11-14 (10am-6pm)
(310)860-9600

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Ahhh, there’s nothing like that new shoe smell!

Except maybe a fragrance by a shoe designer.

Luxury shoe maker Jimmy Choo is now stepping into fragrances. The company has inked a 12-year deal with fragrance maker Inter Parfums Inc to launch a Jimmy Choo scent for women. Like Choo’s shoes, the scents will be highly exclusive, sold in just 2,000 to 3,000 locations worldwide.

Says Tamara Mellon, Choo Founder and President, “It has always been my vision to fully accessorize the woman, and fragrance is an integral part of the modern wardrobe. Through our association with Inter Parfums, I look forward to bringing this important aspect of my vision to life.”

“I hope it will attract many more people to the Jimmy Choo concept, especially people who would like to own a piece of the Jimmy Choo world but who can’t necessarily spend the minimum $500, which today is the basic [entry price] for a Jimmy Choo product.”

If they really want to capture the essence of Jimmy Choo, I suggest the smell of Italian leather and melting plastic credit cards!

Related Stories:

* See ‘Em First: Jimmy Choo’s Light-Up Heels

* Wanna Win a FREE Pair Of Oscar de la Rentas? (Duh, Of Course You Do!)

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